We don’t get to hear a lot from men about their grief. And I am sure that is for many reasons. When we do, I think it is really important to listen, pay mindful attention, and try to understand what’s going on. Much of bereavement literature and theory was based on work with widows. We know that loss is so different, so personal, and to base our theories on one group for so long (and then not question that we did that) is a bit embarrassing and not really fair.
Robert Stolorow, traumatologist and psychoanalyst, shared this post on a blog project in Sept 2011. I am sharing it here because later this week I will be looking at the different kinds of grievers. . .intuitive and instrumental. . . and to help understand the difference so that we can help provide appropriate care to the bereft. Not everyone is going to cry. Not everyone is going to run a marathon. And we should ask them to do what is not in their souls to do.
I hope you enjoy this post. I appreciate Dr. Stolorow for sharing his experience with being with healing and grieving.
Related articles
- “Am I Grieving Right?” (psychologytoday.com)
- Grief (cancerwhattodoorsay.wordpress.com)
- “Recovery” From Grief (joyblog.spiralingup.net)
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